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Alcohol Dependence
The dependence is not to the alcohol, but to what is familiar...
There is no destructive force in the world greater than an alcoholic's self-centered thinking. The world revolves around their alcohol dependence and their focus is only on themselves and not on a healthy resolution of the problem at hand. Alcohol dependence creates a thinking that only looks to protect the alcoholic. The person experiencing alcohol dependence can create and destroy worlds in a split second in their head if they feel it is a threat to themselves. An opportunity can come and go in their minds without ever having acted on it or trying
Alcohol dependence limits how the alcoholic views the world along with limiting opportunities that they believe are available to them. Alcohol dependence does this by diminishing freedom in choosing from "all is possible" to "all is not possible except with alcohol". Experiences and thinking become filtered through a haze of alcohol and all that threaten the alcoholic are eliminated or manipulated to encourage continued alcohol dependence.
We all have stories we tell ourselves in our head. We constantly take life in and filter it according to these stories. These stories are based on past experiences. They are the way we think. Over time these stories become more solidified and familiar in our thinking and we begin to filter all new experiences through them.
Alcohol dependence makes unhealthy thinking seem familiar and the alcoholic will begin to believe in this as their only choice. The alcoholic may realize alcohol dependence is limiting their choices, but they become comfortable and familiar in the results that alcohol dependence gives them. So when in doubt, rather than facing a problem with new thinking, the alcoholic will go with what they know. What the alcoholic knows is found in the safety of their alcohol dependence. Although miserable and unable to successfully resolve the problems they face, they at least know what to expect through the familiar experience of their alcohol dependence.
The stories we have can be useful as they help protect us from past mistakes. However, when these stories become too rigid or narrow they can hinder growth. It does not matter whether these stories are true or not. They are our own perceptions of what we feel is best or true. What we do is represent (or re-present) life experiences to ourselves in a way we feel will most fit our stories, benefit us and keep us safe. When we encounter a situation we process it according to our current stories we have about our capabilities and ourselves.
When you experience alcohol dependence you are acting under the perception (or story) that you are not capable of handling life’s current event or stressor. Alcohol dependence causes the alcoholic to believe they may experience some emotion or fear that they think is too much to handle and so they try to numb it with alcohol. Mental illness has been defined as perceiving without testing. Or holding on to outdated or untested stories. If you perceive only according to the stories you tell yourself in your head, then the reality of the world will not matter. If you tell yourself you a loser, then you are. If you tell yourself that you are fat, then you are. You don’t have to actually be a loser, or be fat. It is all about what the stories are in your head. They are how you see the world.
Alcohol dependence works the same way. The alcoholic perceives something as a threat and without testing whether it really is, decides to cover up this perceived threat with alcohol.
Remember that no matter what your perception or story, life moves on. Every day that you are alive you grow and develop better coping skills to handle life. Life wants to grow. It is important to make sure your story still matches where you are now and how you have grown. You are not 5 years old anymore and do not need the same stories you had then. You may mistakenly hold on to outdated and old stories about yourself and your capabilities. You may mistakenly view yourself as you once were and not who you are now. The alcoholic has such a selfish and fearful story, that if they are left in their own heads there is little chance of positive change. Their world is a prison, not a playground. Here is an example of how an alcohol dependence thinking cycle might work. You have decided to quit using alcohol after much mental debate. A day or two goes by and you start to feel better physically. You are very proud of yourself. Something occurs at work that is stressful, and what happens? You may start doubting yourself. It may bring up some unpleasant feelings that you do not like. Your head starts looking for a way to cope with the stress. You start focusing on yourself and trying to find a way out of the stress. The alcohol debate begins again. Should you drink or not use? You start rationalizing and justifying how it may not be so bad for one more drink. You feel overwhelmed and don’t think you can cope. This is where you start the downslide! You are and will achieve what you think! It’s your negative thinking that got you into the alcohol mess to begin with. If you think you have to hold on to your alcohol dependence to resolve problems, this is all you will ever choose. Challenge yourself to look at the situation differently.
What are your options to combat alcohol dependence?
- Just because you have learned to cope with life a certain way (through alcohol dependence) does not mean you still value this way of coping. It may just be you have used alcohol to cope for so long that you have forgotten there are still choices. You are not doomed; you just have to look at your thinking pattern and stories you tell yourself in your head. - You want to change your life from alcohol dependence. You have thought for so long that alcohol dependence helped you cope. You are realizing alcohol is not helping anymore but are unsure what to do. Start by looking at your stories (interpretations) of a situation. This will increase your ability to see options. If you encounter a problem or are stuck trying to find a solution ask yourself "what else could this mean?" Instead of debating in your head whether you can get away with drinking one more time, focus your mind on alternatives to alcohol dependence. Everyone has alternatives. - Remember, there have been times in the past that you did not engage in alcohol dependence.
What did these times entail?
When you did not choose to drink alcohol what was your thinking like?
- Look back at your successes. I’ll bet most of these successes were at times you were thinking of others before yourself (to keep a job, for your spouse or kids). In reality, thinking of others helps you in the end!
- You do have the ability to choose healthy behavioral choices. The stories you tell yourself are important in the "recovery" process. If you think you are an alcoholic with a disease that will never go away, then your options for changing your behavior will be limited. If you think you are able to freely choose your behavior because you are alive and have every ability to do so, then your limits will be endless. It’s that easy, or that hard. It all depends on your thinking.
For further information on alcohol dependence you can check out the other links on this site below.
Or you can get the complete "Forgotten Five Steps" addiction workbook
Drug Help Alcohol Help Quit Drinking Alcohol Abuse Help Alcohol Dependence Addiction Workbook Addiction Self Help
alcohol dependence ~ alcohol dependency ~ alcohol substance abuse ~ alcohol addictions ~ stop drinking beer |
Drug & Alcoholism Help ~ 888-691-3919This site is for those seeking drug help or alcohol help. It was developed as an AA, NA and treatment alternative to current addiction recovery programs. It views drug and alcohol addiction as a choice, not a disease.
My goal is to challenge your view of alcohol and drug use. My hope? To replace the fear of "a disease" with the empowerment of choice.
If you choose to continue using, it will not be because you are diseased or lack the ability or knowledge to succeed but rather because you have not been convinced you can successfully live life without the use of alcohol or drugs. Keep trying.
Change will occur not out of fear of some insidious and progressive disease, but because you are alive and realize you have every innate ability to succeed and be happy and free from alcohol or drugs. With the proper information I believe this is possible.
The "Forgotten Five Steps" Workbook presents motivational and practical tools for "recovery" that pull upon the alcoholic or addict's own strengths when they seek drug alcohol help.
AA, NA and treatment can be beneficial for some seeking drug or alcoholism help. However, I have met many alcohol or drug users who just couldn't make it work through NA or AA. They believed in a different philosophy or life course. They wanted more than what was offered through traditional treatment programs.
When you decide to seek out drug or alcoholism help you may experience vulnerability inside. You have for so long denied your true self. You have relied on drugs and alcohol to get you through life.
Now that you are thinking of eliminating drugs or alcohol from your life, you may feel defenseless or empty inside. You may not know who you are. You will be looking for any shred of meaning or cure to lesson the loneliness and despair inside.
Be careful what you grab. It has to be yours and relevant to your life. In the end, remember, the alcohol or drug user has to believe their life will be improved by stopping their addictive behavior or no change will occur.
 Blogs/Links
Great alcoholism information, news feeds & posts.
See all the alternatives to Alcoholics Anonymous or AA.
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Alcohol Dependence |
