Help For The Alcoholic Or Addict In Recovery
Understanding & Coping With Emotions
Alcoholic Recovery Help ~ Addict Recovery Help
There will be times when you will desire to stop your alcohol or drug use in recovery but find difficulties doing this. Remember, just going to an alcoholic or addict recovery program and agreeing with the professionals will not change you. You have to actively practice a new way of thinking and acting that best suits your alcoholic recovery or addict recovery needs. It will take some time and practice, just as it took time and practice to value the use of alcohol and drugs.
You are not a helpless bystander to the effects and control of alcohol or drugs. For whatever reason, you gave them power and control. Alcohol or drugs served a purpose for you. This purpose allowed you the ability to control your fear and feelings of helplessness. Relearning a healthy coping strategy through alcoholic recovery or addict recovery may take time, and you will make mistakes. Don’t go to hard on yourself. Learn from your mistakes. You are more than your addiction! Remember, there is only one way to do anything: as a statement to the world of who you are. There is no failure in this statement, just a decision to paint a portrait of who you are and want to be. When you no longer like the current statement of who you are, change it. When you stop using alcohol or drugs and enter alcoholic recovery or drug recovery, emotions you haven’t felt in a long time may arise. Emotions that have been buried and kept at bay with alcohol or drug use will start to rise up in recovery. Why? Because your body needs to rid it self of all these stored and neglected emotions. This sudden increase in emotions during recovery may scare you at first; but know that it is normal and that feelings (both good and bad) are normal and mean you are changing, growing and alive. Your body has an incredible way of storing unwanted or unpleasant emotions for you. If you experience a negative emotion that you feel is too much to handle at the moment, your body will store or bury it. This is a great built in survival technique and not a bad thing. You are bombarded everyday with constant amounts of stress and emotion. If you were required to deal specifically with each stressor or emotion as they occurred, you would get overwhelmed or possibly go crazy. So your body helps you filter which stress or emotion is most immediate for you to deal with and will store the rest for a later time. The problem comes in when you ignore the stored stress or emotion for too long. You will become overloaded or emotionally toxic. Experiencing tension headaches or tight shoulder muscles can be an example of unresolved pent up stress or emotion. Normally your body rids its self of this stress or emotion through appropriate outlets like exercise, talking, hobbies, etc. Drugs and alcohol do not work as an outlet (even though you think they may). They do not resolve or relieve stress or emotions. Drugs and alcohol constrict or trap the stress or emotion inside you. Think of a soda can you continue to shake before opening. The pressure will build and build. When you stop using alcohol or drugs it will be like you are opening the shook up soda can. All the built up stress and emotion you have stored and not resolved will come shooting out. This is why you may experience a sudden rush or fluctuation of emotion once you stop drinking or drugging. This sudden increase in emotion is normal and healthy for you. Consider it your body cleansing its self from old unresolved tension to make room for new growth and experiences. When you stop drinking or drugging you will have to actively tell yourself not to dwell on the negative emotions, but focus on a solution (utilize the five step exercises in the addiction workbook). You may struggle at first, or you may not. The key is to keep in focus the destination where you want to be in alcoholic recovery or drug recovery– alive and able to cope with life without the use of alcohol or drugs.
Alcoholic Recovery, Addict Recovery
How Can We Help The Alcoholic In Recovery Or The Addict In Recovery?
- We must empower the individual struggling with alcohol or drugs. We do this by taking away all excuses the alcoholic or addict may have to why they cannot quit drinking or druging and emphasizing their strengths in alcoholic recovery or drug recovery. They will have many excuses especially if they experience alcohol or drug relapse in recovery. They may blame it on a bad day or on their "disease". Don't argue with them and simply look at what can be learned from their drug or alcohol addiction relapse. The bottom line is if the alcoholic or addict continues to drink or drug it is because they don't believe they have the necessary personal resourses to overcome their alcohol or drug use. Help them set up a preventative plan to avoid future set backs in recovery.
- Find the alcoholic or addict's talents and help them utilize them in recovery. I do not believe that someone who struggles with alcohol or drug use is weak willed or spiritually deprived. Their "will" has taken them to a places where no one else would want to go. If the alcoholic or addict wanted to drink or drug, they found a way to do it. Use this strength to re-focus the alcoholic or addict in recovery. Their spirituality is normally quite strong. They are searching for something, a meaning. Help them find this meaning. Victor Frankl wrote that if you give a person purpose and meaning, they will find a way through anything. No matter how hopeless it seems. Even atheists believe in something. Even if it is life itself.
- There is no biological or chemical disease. If they use, it's their choice. Alcohol relapse or drug relapse is a choice. Tell them this. - For every choice to use alcohol or drugs, there is an alternative choice also available. They may have forgotten this part. When someone continues to experience alcohol relapse or drug relapse they will often hold on to the idea that there choices are not their own. That relapse is part of the "disease". That using alcohol or drugs is the only coping mechanism they know. This is not true. There have probably been many times the alcoholic or addict did not use alcohol or drugs when stressed. I feel we often do a disservice to people in addiction recovery by giving them the idea that addiction is a disease and not under their control. This rmessage robs the alcoholic or addict of acknowledging personal ownership of their choices in recovery. The alternative choice (to not use alcohol or drugs) will most likely impact the problem more directly to resolve it and not further its existence. Fear may enter here. The alcoholic or addict has avoided responsibility like the plague. But when they finally realize that their control comes from responsible choices in recovery they are more willing to attempt it. The more the person resolves situations without alcohol or drugs the more they will believe in their capabilities and therefore be able to avoid alcohol relapse or drug relapse. The key is when they can see how choosing the responsible choice will positively impact their life situation. When life situations can't be seen as improving, change will be hard fought and alcohol relapse or drug relapse more difficult to avoid.. - No one truely enjoys their addictive behavior. The alcoholic or addict does not drink or drug because they "like it". Even those who frequently experience relapse will have extreme guilt when they "fall off the waggon". Once someone remains sober for a period of time they begin to believe they are capable of handling life without alcohol or drugs and feel a sense of satisfaction and pride in this. To use alcohol or drugs again and experience alcohol relapse or drug relapse will dissapoint them greatly. Being sober for a while they will know they are stronger and better than having to use alcohol or drugs to cope. It is important at this point to remain positive and encourage a prevention plan for future struggles that may occur in alcoholic recovery or addict recovery. Don't focus on the powerlessness of the "disease" as this will just diminish the successes the alcoholic or addict has had. Finally, don't ever buy the old line that "I like the taste". Think back to the first few times you used. The taste was awful and it most likely made you sick. No one I have ever encountered formed their desire to use after the first drink or hit. It took some work. - Make sure goals are clear and achievable for alcoholic recovery or addict recovery. The alcoholic or addict must develop a clear vision and plan of what they want and who they want to be in recovery. This is most important, for through their use of alcohol or drugs most have lost sight of the dreams and goals they once had. Remind them. Most healthy people look at the world as their playground. The alcoholic or addict looks at the world as their prison. Help them find the key. - Avoid cleaning up their mess. Don't get involved with the blame game. The alcoholic husband or alcoholic spouse are real good at this. They can twist any situation to support their misery. Let choices and consequences be theirs. This way there is no one to blame but themselves. - Let them know that it is ok to feel. Most alcoholics or addicts don't know how to do this. Teach them. To them, feelings are the enemy and have to be avoided. Feelings come and go and feelings will not kill you. It's how you respond to them that matters. - Fear is at the root of all addictions. Get them to takle one of these fears head on in recovery and they gain some ground. Build on these small successes so they can start to see their innate abilities to change. - Get them out of their heads! There is no destructive force in the world greater than an alcoholic or addicts self centered thinking. Mental illness has been defined as perceiving without testing. We perceive according to the stories we tell ourselves in our heads. It does not matter the reality of these stories. They are how we see the world. The addict has such a selfish view (story) that if they are left in their own heads there is little chance of positive change. What works well here is to have the addict help out others. If they are thinking of someone else, they will not be thinking of themselves. There is no greater fullfillment in the world than one who truly gives to another and expects nothing in return. Teach them to give. - Perhaps the most dangerous idea in the treatment recovery field is the phrase "You have to do it for yourself". Who do you think the alcoholic or addict has been serving all this time? His family and friends? Get them out of their heads! Teach them to help others in recovery. - Motives drive an addiction. Teach them to examine the motives behind their behavior. Most of their motives will be fear based. Remember their addiction is an alcoholics or addicts attempt to control an internal feeling of fear and helplessness. A good rule of thumb in checking motives to a behavior is to ask, "will this hurt or harm myself or others?" If the answer is yes, then difficulties lie ahead. Behaviors with fear as their motive will only result in self protecting behavior. They will not focus on a solution to a problem and will not satisfy. - Fear and guilt do little to help the alcoholic or addict abstain from alcohol or drugs! Most professionals focus on the negative consequences as a reason to abstain from alcohol or drugs. This is the wrong approach. The alcoholic or addict already knows, or has experienced the negative consequences associated with using alcohol dependence or drug use. This has not hindered their use. They may cut down for a while after experiencing a negative consequence only to resume normal use as time goes on. This is because they do not like to live in fear. They want to escape it. Guilt is the same thing. The alcoholic or addict wants to avoid it. Fear and guilt focus on the problem not the solution. Teach them to focus on the solution. Help them see that change occurs when they focus their life on something other than drinking or drugging. Don't define them as "in recovery" or by "sober time". This is a focus on the problem. When they realize they can handle stress in life, not because the are "sober" or "in recovery" but because they are alive and equipped with the ability to do so, drugs and alcohol will be irrelevant. alcoholic recovery, addict recovery
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Drug & Alcoholism HelpThis site is for those seeking drug help or alcohol help. It is my opinion and view on drug & alcohol addiction and was developed as an AA, NA and treatment alternative to current addiction recovery programs. It views drug and alcohol addiction as a choice, not a disease.
My goal is to challenge your view of alcohol and drug use. My hope? To replace the fear of "a disease" with the empowerment of choice.
If you choose to continue using, it will not be because you are diseased or lack the ability or knowledge to succeed but rather because you have not been convinced you can successfully live life without the use of alcohol or drugs. Keep trying.
Change will occur not out of fear of some insidious and progressive disease, but because you are alive and realize you have every innate ability to succeed and be happy and free from alcohol or drugs. With the proper information I believe this is possible.
The "Forgotten Five Steps" Workbook presents motivational and practical tools for "recovery" that pull upon the alcoholic or addict's own strengths when they seek drug alcohol help.
AA, NA and treatment can be beneficial for some seeking drug or alcoholism help. However, I have met many alcohol or drug users who just couldn't make it work through NA or AA. They believed in a different philosophy or life course. They wanted more than what was offered through traditional treatment programs.
When you decide to seek out drug or alcoholism help you may experience vulnerability inside. You have for so long denied your true self. You have relied on drugs and alcohol to get you through life.
Now that you are thinking of eliminating drugs or alcohol from your life, you may feel defenseless or empty inside. You may not know who you are. You will be looking for any shred of meaning or cure to lesson the loneliness and despair inside.
Be careful what you grab. It has to be yours and relevant to your life. In the end, remember, the alcohol or drug user has to believe their life will be improved by stopping their addictive behavior or no change will occur.
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Alcoholic Recovery & Addict Recovery |
