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"Others’ ideas weighed on me and the use of alcohol was not a means to party. It was a cause. A cause against the injustices of society. Surely, they would never understand my conflict. My façade was one of rebellion obtained through an empty drink. A chaotic life dependent on my feelings of helplessness and desperate attempts to regain a sense of identity and control."
- A.G.Friend
Limits come from agreements we make with the world about what is possible.
Change the agreement and then what is possible changes.
If you don’t have a focus, achievements will go to other people’s demands.
You are and will be what you focus on.
Motives are the most important aspect of decision-making.
My mind can filter and manipulate info until my own apparent motives become confused. The confusion sets up a "false prophet" which is mistaken for God's voice. Look for negative emotions to alert you to the possibility of wrong decision-making. Emotions are the nerve center to the soul.
One isn’t necessarily born with courage, but one is born with potential.
Everyday we wake up and every moment we live, we have the potential to change or be whomever we choose to be. This doesn’t mean we will have complete confidence or courage. What it means is that the potential is there, what we do with it is up to us.
Being capable and competent doesn't mean the right choice will always be made.
Often a choice is guided by what is perceived, or what appears to create happiness at the time. A guiding principle when choosing should be "am I choosing this because of love or fear".
Don't die with the music still in you!
When in doubt, ask yourself what you would do if you were not afraid. If you are still unsure, go to the cemetery and ask them.
All human progress is preceded by a new question.
The questions I ask myself control what I focus on.
If you don’t like current behavior and results in your life, look at the story in your head. Does it need changing? Can you make a more realistic story?
Dreamers are a dime a dozen. Changing dreams into a plan of action is more rare.
Some people live in quiet desperation waiting for their chance for fame. Others grab the reigns, saddle up and make dust in this world.
Cry out while you have the passion. I don’t need all my "ducks in a row" to pray to God. Pray as you are, sincerely and from the heart. Change in life gets momentum when I don’t sit still with fear but rather cry out while I have the passion.
Sometimes we may feel unworthy of talking with God, or of doing well in life. Remember, God does not ask us to be perfect, He just asks us to show up.
There is no such thing as failure, only certain results for a chosen behavior.
I love this one! For every action, we will get a result! We will never fail in obtaining a result for the behavior we choose. If we do not like the result, we need to change our choice of behavior. We will not fail in achieving anything (even if it is addiction)! If we do not like what we have achieved, we need to change the behavior!
Pain can be accepted when there is a purpose for it.
You may struggle at first with feelings of fear that seem to overwhelm you. Don’t panic! You have a destination and these feelings will lesson and become manageable as you learn to productively deal with them. Keep a destination in mind. You are on a new life course!
The danger is not setting goals too high and not achieving them, but setting them too low and achieving them.
You may have taken a bumpy and curvy road to realize you can achieve your goals. That’s ok. Make your goals real with action. Don’t settle! The past is gone; it’s your turn now!
Even when bad things happen to us, we have a choice of whether we will let fear define who we are. It is not what happens that carries so much importance, but how we respond.
You are the captain of the ship. No matter what the weather, you control the rudder!
There is one way to do anything: As a statement to the world of who I am.
There is no right or wrong. Just a decision to paint a portrait of who I am. Change something when you no longer want it to be a statement of who you are.
What I open my eye at and look at disappears, what I resist becomes stronger.
Know the truth and the truth will set you free! It’s your choice. What do you want, a disease or freedom? Own your choices.
Sell cleverness and purchase bewilderment.
Figure it all out, and what’s left to do? Shared with me by an "intellectual scholar".
Luck = Readiness + Opportunity
How many people have you heard of that win the lotto and then lose it all? Are they still lucky?
Goal: anything that doesn’t hurt yourself or others and makes happy or enriches all who are touched by it or the experiences the process of achieving it.
Best definition I have seen on a goal.
I arranged life so that it would best fit my thinking.
This is a good one for it goes directly to the heart of an "addicts" world. Life has to be manipulated; otherwise they may see their behavior does not make sense.
What can complicate and create fear and hiding is the memory of who I am and who I am suppose to be.
That little voice that tells you life could be much more. All "addicts" have this voice, that’s why they continue using. If they stop, they will feel the void they created.
Mental illness = perceiving without testing.
Your mind can be your best friend, or your worst enemy. Check your perceptions from time to time.
Silence is God’s answer – NO.
Ever ask for something and not get it? Ever yell at God because you thought He did not hear you? Well, God did hear you and answered with silence. In other words, ask another question, you are going down the wrong road!
Ignorance is not a lack of knowledge,
but rather a lack of defining yourself as whom you truly are.
The smartest man in the world is ignorant, if he betrays himself. Alcohol and drugs hide our true selves, making us ignorant.
I must remember God. For I know from experience that "goodness" can be lost when I anxiously await results or hold on too tight. I must give the helm to God and simply do what is right and just.
Have some faith and patience, God heard you.
Be interested in my character, not my convenience.
It is precisely those times when it is least convenient to hold on to your character, that gives you character.
There is no excitement in maintenance; only in creation is there joy.
You are going somewhere, or you are going nowhere.
If you want change to occur, find out what disturbs people.
When disturbed, people will be motivated to change.
Often hard times, stress, or conflict can light a fire in us to change. They don’t have to be bad or negative.
We see things (understand them) by the emotions we attach to them. If we don’t get what we desire we must look to change ourselves to elicit the response needed in another. When we are troubled by a response ask, "What else can this mean?" Remember don’t assume. Find out how it disturbs you and how you can change.
When you point a finger at someone, remember there are four fingers pointing back at you.
Be aware of the language or stories we tell ourselves about why we can or cannot do something.
Our mental stories about the world become what we are and see.
Emotion is motion.
We need momentum to change. Pain will make you aware of faults and disturb you. When you are disturbed you can often find the momentum to change.
Sometimes I do not know what role I am to play in God's plan, but I must show up for the day.
If you don’t even dress for the game, you will never get to play.
The Psalms are filled with discomfort of God's ways.
Even Jesus proclaimed, "Why have you forsaken me?"
God can handle hesitancy for it is real and from the heart. The intellect can never truly approach an understanding of God alone. Our value of time spent with God cannot (should not) depend on our emotional or mental state. We should not worry about this. Don't try to make your heart love God, just give it to Him. God doesn't watch us fall to shame us. In our moments of brokenness and exposure our hearts are most vulnerable to God's amazing grace.
Just because we are on the "good track" does not mean this will translate to earthly goods.
It can be a personal or spiritual gain instead.
What I know of being unhappy: If I dislike one person, I will not help them but judge them and isolate myself from them. I start associating others with this person I do not like and pretty soon I have isolated myself from most. I become lonely and unhappy.
Solution? Help the one I do not like.
Arrogance will kill you. It will make you believe you know more than God.
A great teacher knows he/she is never done being taught.
If you want to see your past, look at where you are. If you want to see your future, look at what you are doing.
A great way to assess who you are and where you are going.
I often mistake anger with hurt.
If I trust someone and they lie, I get angry that they violated my trust. However, I am actually not angry but afraid to admit they hurt me, so I cover it with anger. For me to grow I must admit my hurt and fear to myself (if they are lying they are also covering up hurt) and not fall into the pattern of distrusting everyone out of anger.
When I finally realized my vision it reduced my fear and increased action.
Act before you are acted upon. Move before fear and doubt set in and you convince yourself to stand still.
A goal is only as good as the effort and pride put into the process of achieving it.
No one can take away your inner feeling of a job well done.
My intellect must learn to socialize and cooperate otherwise it will only incorporate self-centered motives and forces.
The most brilliant scholar in the world cannot make friends with only self centered motives.
Slaves are often made not from external forces, but from your internal dialogues, mandates and agreements.
An "addict" encloses himself in a mental prison with no physical walls.
People are moved by myth, not mandates; fables, not logic.
Even a child can tell you this.
Confusion is used by evil to distract.
It is important to remember that deep psychological issues, questions and philosophies can be used negatively to punch holes in issues when confusion or fear occurs. Beware of this as deep intellectual probing can often have the opposite motives than those of personal growth: these being personal defense.
I have come to realize that others are going to be exactly who they are regardless of my opinions or judgments of them. All that I influence is my behavior and response.
Learn this and resentments vanish.
The biggest disability in life is a bad attitude.
Is life a playground, or a prison?
A friend brought up the concept of repressed memories after a night of drinking.
When self-love is low, repressed memories can be powerful. It can provide identity to a cause and justify a screwed up life. One could hide behind this power and avoid personal responsibility of forgiveness. Do we need closure for everything or is responsibility for what we hold on to today just as important.
Be careful about getting stuck in a certain paradigm, thinking patterns, practice that eliminates other possibilities or choices for growth.
One sidedness in life is dangerous for it harnesses the mind and traps the soul. Be on alert for a particular practice that takes precedence over principal. I don't believe a theory can ever be bigger than the people it is trying to help.
God has set us up with "territories". These are personal and part of His plan.
People enter our personal territories everyday. With these chance occurrences our lives are forever altered. It is our choice if we admire these occurrences or not.
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